Esteem for your self
Where does self esteem come from?
How do you get esteem for yourself?
It comes from doing what you say you’re going to do. This sense of certainty that you’re a person of your word.
Better still, to do what you’re say you’re going to do when no one else is watching.
And better than that, to never tell a soul you did the thing.
When only you know. That’s how you build self esteem.
The drama teacher jumps in
I was teaching an acting workshop with a high school drama class here in Florida. They were an awesome group.
I set the students up with an exercise that required them to be in pairs; everyone paired up but one student was left without a partner.
Before I had time to problem solve- the drama teacher, who was watching from the auditorium, leapt on stage and stood shoulder to shoulder with the student and patiently waited my instruction.
This is such a drama teacher thing to do. It’s what makes these kids first trust her, then open up to become the confident young world changers they are.
I’ve met many drama teachers in my time and this is a common trait. It’s the secret, I reckon.
It’s putting yourself in the arena.
It’s saying “Hey, I’ve got your back and we’re on the same level”
Look for opportunities to jump in I reckon. You’ll rarely regret it. Even if you feel like it ‘failed’ in your jumping in, it didn’t; there is infinite value in falling on your face. For you and for others. Jumping in is generous so it’s always a good idea.
Celebrate the wins
There are certain monumental wins that deserve to be remembered forever.
How do you celebrate those key moments in order to allow them to be felt in your whole being?
This will hep you remember forever.
Remember the day that everything changed.
Change in scene
I’ve felt a little off kilter today. We relocated from our three week season in Louisville to now being in West Palm Beach Florida.
It was a massive day of travel- I managed to do some editing on the plane which I think made me a bit travel sick.
I struggled to find time for my film habit AND I nearly forgot to write this. I was reflecting and I think it’s because this is the first day in three weeks that looked radically different to the rest.
I didn’t wake, eat, exercise or work at any of the normal times (I mean my days haven’t been that regimented; they aren’t the same but they do rhyme)
So I have tended to find the time to complete my daily tasks at more or less the same time each day.
I realised this evening as I tucked into a new bed, I didn’t have any of the normal environmental cues to remind me it was time to perform a habit task.
Each day or night I’d see the same room, in the same set up and have a similar sequence of events that led me to get there and the next thing to happen would be to write here.
I’m now in a new environment where only my tooth brush and skin care routine managed to remind me of what I had been doing.
I’m curious about how we can bring habits with us and build movable cues into our on the road lifestyle. I don’t forget to brush my teeth but I did nearly forget to make my film. How interesting.
Fan the flame
As I was planning out my day today, I got a sudden urge to start one of the tasks immediately.
For me this is a no no, because I like to have clear tasks for the day before I begin. But in this case I indulged the instinct.
The task I began was making todays film, in my daily film making habit.
As I was blocking out the time of day I would commit to the task, a little piece of music popped into my head that I wanted to put in the film.
I stood up, got my guitar and set up garage band to record the simple little tune in my head.
I ended up continuing on to complete the film making task then and there.
Maybe it’s because it was a creative task that I allowed it to take my attention immediately. After all, when inspiration knocks, you answer the door.
After this experience I’m quite alive to the little whispers of inspiration in the form of images, lines, ideas, feelings or musical hankerings.
I’m a fan of organising your day and tasks to ensure you get them done. But there is also the magic of the unexpected muse, throwing away the rules for a second and following the spark.
Fan the flame, I reckon.
Passive vs Leverage
I spent some time in the past trying to chase this idea of passive income- that is not needing to work for money. It sounds tempting right? Making money and then just doing what ever you want.
I mean yeah everyone needs a holiday.
But I’m not interested in doing nothing. I want to help. I think we all do. Providing something of value for people who care is one of the meanings of life, I think.
I don’t think we should be chasing some ‘passive’ form of income. I agree that we shouldn’t make bad trades for our time. Selling time for a low dollar amount and doing that over and over again is very limiting (being stuck in this frame probably drives the interest in the opposite, which is doing nothing at all for money).
Instead we should be looking for leverage.
Leverage means the time you put in has a further reach. It has long term value. Over time and across location.
It’s the difference between teaching a lesson to one person live in a coffee shop one morning, and recording yourself delivering the same content and creating lessons notes, a worksheet and flash cards along side it.
The latter can deliver value on your behalf without the time it would take to do it each time.
Makes sense, right?
That’s leverage. So next time you need to teach the person the thing, it’s a two minute email with a link rather than organising the coffee date, revising the content for yourself and delivering the goods- hours of work.
The value is no less (taking out the in-person aspect which I agree has some value), but the time is WAY less. That’s leverage.
Focus on investing your time on high leverage action items.
How can this have a life beyond the time I’m taking now? How can it be this way by design?
How can the work I put into this compound over time?
In what ways will this buy me back time in the future?
Don’t hunt for shortcuts to passive income- be very active in your pursuit of providing massive value for people in a way that is repeatable and with the largest lever possible.
Because when you have a big lever, you can help even more people even faster. And that’s the real goal.
And sure have a holiday now and then. And your leverage will most likely allow you to be paid while you do it.
When its good, let it be good
I’ve cut coffee out of my diet and I’ve been doing pretty well with it.
Yesterday was the closest I’ve come to breaking my little coffee fast; I was SO tired and was doing all kinds of talking and reasoning with myself as to why I needed it and it would be a great treat and a needed pick me up ahead of the show.
I was really proud that I didn’t have a cup of coffee. Because I remained in line with my initial decision.
TODAY was interesting though, because my energy was actually great. I felt very calm and centered in my body and there goes my wonderful brain telling me that it would be a good chance to celebrate how great I’m feeling and go and get a cup of coffee.
It’s funny, isn’t it, how we’ll reason with ourselves.
Now this isn’t me knocking coffee by the way, it’s more about the fact that I’d made the choice not to and my brain was coming up with reasons to break this. That’s whats important to notice.
Today I resisted again- which I was really proud of. And I think today was actually more dangerous than yesterday. Because today my body was in the exact state I’m trying to get to without stimulants like coffee or sugar. And it was that exact state that brought about the thought “Oh let’s have a little coffee treat” BUT that would have linked the very state I’m after with the thing I’m trying to avoid!
Anyway- my little learning is this: If things feel good, leave them as they are.
You don’t need to coffee.
Divine limbo
I was in the middle of the show tonight in one of the parts where I get a few moments off stage while my co-star Kal is with the audience.
It’s a strange space to be in; I don’t have my phone, there is no other human near me there in the darkness. I have only about 5 minutes back there.
Short enough for it to just be a snatched moment- but long enough to remember I’m a human living a life and doing this strange thing called acting.
This evening I could feel my brain start to think of other things in my life: What happened earlier in the day, plans for tomorrow or further in the future.
But none of it existed.
For those few minutes I’m neither in the show or out of the show. I’m in a kind of divine limbo where I can be no where else but right there.
It’s a glorious nightly meditation I’m really enjoying at the moment.
Stay the course
…sometimes!
Some things require us to try the same thing a little longer than we think we need to. This is to account for lag time. We need to foster persistence and keep doing the thing that might take us to victory.
And sometimes we have to change our approach because what we’re trying isn’t working.
The art is having the acuity to know when to hold the line and when to change tac.
Watch and listen closely for the tiny shifts. These will help you know whether to stay the course or try something else.
Get to one thousand
Steven Bartlett (Diary of a CEO) had a great piece of advice for his girlfriend who wanted to post content for her business.
She’d been putting it of for months and it was the pursuit of perfection that was stopping her. He suggested she change her focus from making the perfect first post to trying to get to one thousand posts.
To come at the goal with brute force.
I love this approach because you’d have to learn something doing anything one thousand times. Progress is guaranteed.
Even a monkey would improve doing something one thousand times!