Connecting with others

Given the option, I’ll flake out

August 18, 2026

Have you ever made a plan with a friend to go out, and in the lead-up you know that if you hadn’t made the plan, you probably wouldn’t leave the house?

It’s cozier inside. Less resistance, less energy spent getting ready. And the truth is, both options are genuinely good. Home is comfortable. Out might mean a great night, a deeper connection, being there for something your friend needs. When both are good, we take the path of least resistance.

You know the feeling when they text an hour before: “can we rain check, I can’t do it”? That rush of relief. Now you don’t have to go out.

That’s the tell. Given the option, most of us will flake, even though there’s so much to gain from doing the thing.

So I think it’s important to make commitments outside ourselves, to people or structures that hold us to things that aren’t easy or comfortable. Because left to our own devices, we’ll take the out every time.

Who not how

August 11, 2026

Once you know what and why, you shouldn’t ask how.

You’ll end up doing it yourself.

Ask “Who?”

Then find a person to carry out the how.

How we begin

August 10, 2026

It’s worth considering how you begin something. With yourself, another or with a new group of people.

What do they need to know? What needs to be said? Who needs to be thanked or acknowledged?

Before rushing ahead with the ‘thing’, be sure that you start well.

It sets the tone, it releases anxieties and and the ‘thing’ will be better too.

Conor’s two steps

July 24, 2026

My friend Conor Bowden made an entire film across the span of four years on his iPhone.

It’s finally finished and it’s about to be in the NZ International Film Festival.

I asked him what the secret to getting this kind of thing started.

He said step 1 is start before your ready.

Step 2 is ask for help from people you trust.

Both of these things are totally within our grasp- the thing in the way is probabaly fear.

What is the thing you most want to do in the world and how can you use Conor’s two steps to get there now?

Listening with your whole body

July 6, 2026

In the workshop today we did one of my favourite ensemble games: as a group we are scattered all around the room. Without a single person leading, we must collectively begin walking, then running and then collectively decide to pause. We cycle through those modes.

It seems easy, and the instinct is just to lead the group. But of course that’s the whole point, there IS no leader.

I love when a group surrenders to the the collective.

And we all start listening with our bodies.

It’s a beautiful thing when multiple organisms become one.

Room improvers

June 29, 2026

I’m workshopping a new musical this week with a group of wonderful people.

Have you ever noticed that there is always one person in a group who is the electric charge of the group? A person that elevates the room?

Imagine you’re one of 10 actors reading a play and Jim Carrey walks in to join in.

In my mind, the moment he enters it elevates everything.

He’s what I’d call a room improver.

Got the picture?

Yeah, this musical workshop is a room full of room improvers.

It’s great

Name the thing

June 22, 2026

Interactions with strangers can be magic.

You both have the opportunity to connect, though few people take the chance.

When you meet a stranger there is always a ‘thing’ you can connect about (and I’m not talking about the weather)

There’s something you both notice that neither of you acknowledge.

Something that suddenly pops into your head.

Or maybe they remind you of something you’ve heard recently.

So often the ‘thing’ occurs to us… but we aren’t brave enough to name it.

But the coolest secret of life is to name the thing. You’ll mostly get a blank look and you might even feel a bit embarrassed sometimes.

That’s the risk you run, of course. But with great risk comes great reward.

If you name the thing, you might connect. You might find a sparkle between two strangers. You might find the ‘meaning of life’.

And I think that’s worth the risk.

Best interaction

June 17, 2026

I’m walking to the staff room. There’s a 6 year old with wild hair who stops in front of me.

Kid: Who are you?

Me: I’m Justin

Kid:….. COOL!

Me: Who are you?

Kid: Hugo!

Me: COOL!!!

Now every time I pass Hugo he never fails to greet me excitedly.

Aren’t kids awesome?

The phone voice

June 9, 2026

Ever notice how people change their voice when they answer the phone?

Have you ever noticed yourself do it? Having a terrible day and then suddenly a phone call transforms your whole disposition.

I guess the stakes are too high to stay in the funk when we’re talking to someone who is completely disconnected from your environment in that moment.

It’s great to remember we can change how we are at any moment.

Mind the first thing

June 5, 2026

Ever heard of getting off on the wrong foot?

It’s like when you see that aunt and the first thing she says is that you’re looking a little round.

She didn’t mean to, but the first thing she said to you coloured the whole interaction.

So a simple trick is to mind the first thing you say to a person. Don’t let it be a criticism or some boring logistics thing. Make it something that sets you up well

JUSTIN ROGERS

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