The audition
“Here, this is what I make”
As actors, we can fall in the trap of trying to morph into what we ‘think’ the casting director or director want.
We reach for something and in the process lose our authorship. This is a destabilising place to work from and makes the whole process feel empty.
“Here! Do you like this? Is this what you want?”
The alternative of course is radical authorship. It aligns with this idea of doing in the audition exactly what you would do on the shoot day.
Seems obvious, right?
Of course understanding what the project needs, the tone of the piece and the directors past work can and should feed into your process.
But it’s an interface, not a foundation.
Instead, it’s saying “Here, this is what I made. Here’s what I uniquely bring to this, you likey?”
This is a much more satiating orientation to the audition process. We remove the desperation and we get back to our art.
Every audition really is an opportunity to work, as Bryan Cranston encouraged us. The minute we reach for what we think they want is when we stop actually doing our job. We’re just entering a weird lottery at that point.
Ignite the artist and unleash the full force of your creative craft on that audition.
When you do that, whether or not you book the job becomes irrelevant.
Words are gifts.
Yes they’re free to give but that have oceans of value.
At high school I wanted more than anything to be an actor. At that point it felt unknown and unreachable. One day my drama teacher gave me a gift in a few words.
She said, “It’s not a matter of IF you’ll be an actor- but are you ready to be an actor?”.
With her language she created possibility. Using the words “are you ready” assumed that me being an actor was a given. The unknown was my readiness at this point- something I have within my power.
What a gift.
Another memory I have was feeling like my work was going nowhere and I felt like giving up. To me it felt like the end.
My mum said to me “You’re on the cusp”.
Being on the “cusp” is a world away from being at the “end”.
What a gift.
I have a friend who has the habit of using the word “and” where most would say “but”.
It seems insignificant, right? Well playwrights and actors will tell you that “and” and “but” are different planets.
“You’re doing great but you could work on this.”
Vs.
“You’re doing great and you could work on this.”
Words are gifts we can give people anytime we choose.
Values make things stick
How do we make something a priority?
Sheer will power can be great, but might not last.
What really lasts is connecting the desired action to our highest value.
-Want to consistently make time to plan new creative lessons?
-Begin a new habit?
-Push through the initial difficulty of a new venture?
Sure, I can muscle my way through, but I know I’ll burn out quickly if it’s will power alone.
What does it mean to link something to your values?
We have to link in our heads, hearts and bodies that this action equals our highest value.
-The consistent time spent planning lessons is directly connected to the change you want to make in young people. Action – > high value
-The new habit is burned in your brain as an embodiment of your deep desire to always learn new things. Action – > high value
-Sticking to the new venture while you’re really bad at it is connected to the contributions you know you will make to others once you master it. Action – > high value
Don’t be strong. Plug into your values instead.
Don’t try and be good.
Looking back on my experience of drama school, it seems a lot of the initial training was about getting us to focus on the right things.
There’s this thing people say about actor training where they “break you down and build you back up”.
I’ve never really liked this saying- it seems kind of negative or unnecessarily fear inducing. From my years of training it’s more about discovering patterns and building new ones.
And that’s just the learning process. But I guess people like making things sound dramatic and scary when it comes to acting.
It’s confronting, sure, but so is meeting your edge in any arena.
One of the main focuses I needed to undo in my training was this thing of trying to be liked. Of monitoring in an audience or in a director- am I doing the right thing? Do you like this?!
It makes sense, of course; my only frame of reference for learning was the school system that was all about being ‘right’. But of course acting isn’t about being ‘right’ it’s about being true.
Even that is a tricky metric- true according to who? Looking elsewhere for how truthful your work is is just another way of outsourcing your certainty.
Instead, as actors we must become experts of placing our focus. One way of doing this is to give your character an objective:
To make this person stay
To make them leave
To make them understand me
You get the idea. This is how we pursue truth; to what extent did you fight for your objective?
I love this way of thinking because if I’m feeling nervous I can ask myself, what is my objective?
And more often then not in those nerve wracking situations my objective has accidentally become “to make these people think I’m clever or funny.”
You lose when this becomes the objective, you really do. And this is what can happen if you’re not clear on your objective as an actor.
Trying to be clever or funny or attractive will always set you up for failure. Those things MIGHT come as a result of what you do in pursuit of an objective (emphasis on might, haha).
So in life, I think we should practice the same thing; give ourselves objectives that get us out of our own way. Objectives we can fight for, use our full selves to pursue them.
That’s playing big and that’s where the real magic is.
Self Esteem
Where does self esteem come from?
It’s esteem for one’s self. A deep feeling of self security and worthiness. I think in the past I’ve tricked myself into thinking that we get this from others.
Yes, we’re told that what others say and think about us doesn’t matter- but it’s a mighty loud signal.
When we’re kids it’s the authority figures in our lives that shape our beliefs about the world and ourselves.
As we get older I suppose we continue giving authority to others.
Do other people think we’re good or strong or clever? Whether people see us doing things that signal our virtues becomes important.
Because of course if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?
It does make a sound- but only the tree knows it.
Esteem for one’s self is about who you are when no one is looking.
Because when we do things that show we’re strong, kind, creative, clever and the only ones to see it is us, that’s when we build real self esteem.
You’ll fight every urge to talk about it or signal to others what you’ve done. But that erodes the real treasure.
Do the right thing and do it for you only. And do that over and over (and over).
Don’t forget the victories
What was once a dream that is now part of your every day life?
We’re really good at forgetting good stuff.
It might be because of the insatiable human appetite for progress. Forgetting milestones probably serves us well in our pursuit of more and better.
But that’s a bit of an empty existence- success without fulfillment.
It might seem like a silly example but when I first started acting I remember how an audition would rule my entire day.
Well, to be perfectly honest I’d get the audition through and I’d question whether I could get anything else done that week…
If I was auditioning at 2pm on a Tuesday, nothing else existed until after that audition. Even then I probably took the rest of the day to gather myself and recover.
These days I can pack a full day around an audition and still have a great time.
This is progress- I’ve grown a LOT since the old days. I found myself lamenting that I wasn’t getting enough done recently and I suddenly remembered where I came from.
That I once couldn’t have imagined having the types of days I’m having now.
But of course now it’s just an ordinary day.
I think we’d do well to remember it wasn’t always like this. To give ourselves some credit and celebrate the things we forget to celebrate.
What is in your life now that was once a dream?
The missing ingredient
I had a really productive day recently.
I seemed to fly through all my tasks, bring creativity and levity to them all- and still have space for socialising.
So today I decided to replicate it. I structured my day the exact same way.
While I got things done, I wasn’t really “flying”, ya know?
And on reflection I realised there was a missing ingredient.
On paper they looked the days looked the same, but I approached the ‘successful’ day with the energy of a kid on Christmas.
Today I came at my day more like a serious businessman who has only grey suits in the cupboard.
Same day, different guy.
I’m thinking about the missing ingredient.
That we can do everything “right”, but still have a vastly different experience if we get the approach wrong.
What’s the secret? Sleep? Movement? The right food? Wearing red shoes?
All of and none of the above- I don’t know.
But the orientation to hunt for it might be enough.
It’s all music
When we’re working well together we’re in “harmony.”
When things move us they “strike a chord.”
When they deeply make sense to us they “resonate.”
Things that work perfectly are “singing” and when they’re running smoothly they’re “humming.”
Music is both emotional and systematic. The best things are.
Sure we can do our work- or we can make music.
I know which I choose to play.
Children Will Listen
What does a musical theatre legend have to do with teaching?
At drama school, we did a production Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods. At first, I found it really hard to get into; but the process of understanding, rehearsing and performing the show gave me a deep life long love for Sondheim.
One of my favourite lyrics comes from a song sung by the Witch:
“Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do children will see and learn”.
I’’ll admit it took me a bit to actually understand what this means. Surely we want kids to listen right? Why do I have to be careful, Witchy?
Listening comes responsibility.
If they are listening, then the Witch is suggesting we have to be careful what we say and do – their little hearts soak it all in.
For me this comes back to a fundamental focus I have to foster belief in those we work with and especially the young souls.
Everything we say and do has implications. We are constantly modeling behavior and beleifs to our students.
When things get difficult or don’t go to plan, kids are learning from us how we respond.
When we get tired or confused or excited- what do we do? How do we act?
The children are listening.
For me it’s not about trying to be perfect- (as the saying goes; perfection isn’t possible, so it’s the lowest standard…)
But rather considering what our actions and words tell our students about themselves and the way the world is.
We don’t want to spend all our energy getting kids to listen, only for them to hear something that disempowers them.
Children will listen- and that’s a privilege we shouldn’t take lightly.
What is the through line in your work?
There’s an adage that artists, filmmakers and story tellers really only tell one story over and over again.
Each story they tell is a version of the same thing told in a different way.
And they’re not repeating themselves, but peeling an onion. It’s an ongoing exploration of the same theme.
It’s an interesting thought and when I look to my favourite artists, writers, thought leaders and change makers it rings true.
There is a through line to their career, a central theme that ties it all together. And I don’t think this is something someone constructs, I think it comes out of you. It is you.
When I first heard the idea I didn’t like to think that people would be limited in this way.
But I think it’s only limiting in so much as we are limited by the skin that surrounds us.
It doesn’t limit us, it just is us.