Ready or not
I’m beginning to wonder whether progressing in life is a series of doing things before you’re ready.
The nature of growth is that it is something just beyond where you are now. So in the moment before growth, by definition you aren’t there yet; you’re not ready.
I did not feel ready to teach for the first time
I did not feel ready to launch my own business
I did not feel ready to hit send on my first offer
These events only have two things in common: I was never ready and they completely changed my life/
Hmm- interesting.
Could it be that the life we want is just outside of our comfort zone?
I think it might be.
Keep comfy
I’m a big believer in choosing comfort over practicality.
It might not be practical to take your meditation pillow in your checked luggage for the weekend- but if you love using it in the mornings you should take it.
You might feel obligated to finish all the food on your plate because it would be a ‘waste’ otherwise. But you’ll pay the price with feeling too full.
Take the pillow and don’t over eat for the sake of it.
I think we’re trained in the culture to neck discomfort to keep the peace. But I think we should all be putting our own comfort ahead of little rules.
If it’s not hurting anyone and it’ll make your experience a little better, do it.
Contagious
Powerful things tend to be contagious. A bad mood is. And so is a good mood.
If we know that what we put out tends to spread and we also get to choose what we put out, we should probably pick contagions of good.
Abundance, gratitude and cheerfulness.
It’s not hard but it is powerful.
Why things that don’t matter matter
I like talking about silly things. Specific moments from a reality tv show. Why the painters of a wall I walk past chose that shade of blue. Discussing whether flying or invisibility is a better super power.
An over-optimised life is always on the precipice of making you feel obsolete.
When I’ve done all the things; automated, delegated and streamlined the work to make valuable things in the world… I’m suddenly in danger of having nothing to care about.
Worse still- I might be so addicted to the doing that I seek more tasks.
When I talk about things that ‘don’t matter’ it sends a signal to my brain that re-affirms the absurdity of it all, while maintaining my conviction that when my work finishes, I go on.
I make room for the meaningless to find the meaning.
So I ask you-
What would your super power be, flying or invisibility?
(I do think flying would exhaust you the same as running, so there’s that consideration too)
Blankets
Blanket statements- like other types of blankets- can give us security and a sense of safety.
“I don’t listen to advice from HER.”
“I never do things like THAT.”
While they can give us certainty (highly prized for us humans) they can also cut us off from other possibilities.
SHE might have some great advice.
You might grow a little doing something like THAT.
Blankets have a funny way of covering everything. A blanket doesn’t always let you see the nuance.
But if you’re brave enough to emerge from the warmth of your blanket, you’ll see the nuance. And in that nuance lies the possibility for more.
Capacity
We have more capacity than we think. I’ve found it’s possible to be upset about something but still have a great time.
We can feel overwhelmed and still find peace. We can be sad and happy at the same time.
Two things can exist at the same time- maybe even three.
The trick, I think, is to allow for this fact. To not trap ourselves in the lie of scarcity.
Just today
Do people in your family groan at your dietary preferences?
Are you the pesky vegetarian or- god forbid- you’re zero sugar?
I’ve noticed people can be quite reactive to things like “I’m not eating meat” or “I’m actually zero sugar”
I’m not exactly sure why, but it wasn’t until someone said the trusty old “oh it’s always something with you” that I decided to adjust my communication.
Always vs. right now.
Things like “I’m only eating x” or “I don’t eat y” seem to invite those unsolicited comments from uncle Joe. I suppose because it’s a line in the sand. So instead, I’ve been framing my wider lifestyle choices as something I’m choosing in the moment. For some reason people don’t mind as much if you’re not eating sugar just ‘this time’.
I also like this frame because it allows me to choose each time. Who knows maybe I do want a piece of steak today! Thanks for asking.
We don’t need to make identity statements at the dinner table.
But we can choose who we are through how we respond.
Course correcting pilots
Goals are great… when you remember them. Something I’ve noticed is I’m great at setting goals and feeling that initial enthusiasm. As I’m sure we all are. But it can be tricky to find effective mechanisms of follow through on the day to day. An inefficient way to get to any destination is to only check in a few times across the journey.
I like the image of a pilot needing to constantly course correct across the span of a flight. Did you know they are off course between 90% and 99% of the time? Pilots have to constantly course correct to get to their destination.
The same goes for our goals and I’m using a super simple daily question to help me do that. In my journal every morning I ask myself:
How can I course correct today?
It allows me to look at yesterday, what I did, didn’t do and how I spent my time. If I lived a day like that again would I get to where I want to go? If not, what could I do slightly differently today?
It’s nice to know we can be off 99% of the time and still get there.
It just requires a little course correction ✈️
You always have a choice.
In a bad mood? You have a choice.
Feeling overwhelmed? You have a choice.
Feeling bored? You have a choice.
I like to remind myself that I always have a choice. Things may indeed be really difficult. When I have a few too many things to do I can buy into the hype of overwhelm and “stress as a status symbol”… but that’s all it is; hype.
And hype is rarely worth buying into.
You can have a lot of things to do AND still be fun to be around.
You always have a choice
The one true metric of success is…
Well, it’s up to you isn’t it? The meta marker of success is the ability to reach desired outcomes.
So if you set an outcome to write a short story over the Christmas holidays and you write a short story over the Christmas holidays- you’re a success
1)Two mistakes I’ve made in the past are:
I don’t choose an outcome.
If you don’t know where you’re going you’ll never get there. Sometimes I’ve felt success was alluding me and realised I didn’t even know what I was trying to do or get to. This is an easy fix- figure what you want!
2) I use other people’s metrics of success to judge my own progress even when I don’t value what they value.
Picture this: your friend runs a marathon and you suddenly feel like a failure because you haven’t run a marathon. Sure, they are successful because they set an outcome and achieved it. But you did not set out to do that, so the fact that you didn’t do that is fine!
Set your own outcomes and don’t get sucked into other peoples metrics. Stay in your game