Give not get
April 8, 2026
You go there to give.
Your work is a place you go to give, not get.
A relationship is a place you go to give, not get.
The world is a place you go to give, not get.
This simple shift changes it all
Post Category:
Values
Don’t relinquish your control.
March 27, 2026
We don’t have control of everything… but we do have control of a lot.
We get to choose what we bring to an interaction or situation. Of course we can’t control what happens there, but we can choose our lens.
And that counts for a lot.
Who do you want to be at work today? How do you want the people you meet with today to feel? How much fun do you want to bring to your day today?
We can’t choose it all, but we can choose the stuff that matters.
Don’t relinquish your control.
The infinite power source
March 8, 2026
The golden goose of any initiative is implementation.
Starting out, it’s up to us to get ourselves to follow through on the work we know needs to get done. We have to work out what it takes for us to do the hard thing.
We find that ‘pushing through’ isn’t sustainable. Eventually we find a reason that drives us.
Whether it’s a diet, a new skill to learn or a formidable project- we each find our own way in to get it done.
When we lead others, we come up against the same challenge- how do we get people to follow through?
How do we get others to own outcomes and claim autonomy in their work? There’s a lot of things that help, sure; clarity of objective, clear milstone tracking, step by step systems, authority to make choices… all of these things contribute to the work getting done.
But those are all the tools- just like when we were doing it on our own we all needed tools. But if all it required were tools it would be easy.
Like you discovered on your own, you need heart. What do I mean? Well it needs to hook onto the thing that we value most. That’s how we bring heart to our work.
Why do I teach? I teach because I love bringing possibility to life for young people. I love learning and I love growing and I love contributing to something bigger than myself. Those are called values, by the way. Values are a steam train zooming off into the sunset and our outcomes are the things we hook on the back of that train.
Values are our own power source. The same is true for those we lead. It’s not enough to give excellent tools, protocols and outcomes- we have to hook it to their steam train.
What does this person value most? Don’t guess, get in conversation and ask them. It’s in the language; “My work is about X” or “The most important thing for this is Y”.
Find their values and align the job to that.
This is the never ending power source that gets the job done and has them fulfilled in the process. And that’s WAY better than merely implementing something.
We all want to work for a meaningful cause. Implementation… sure.
But doing meaningful work in the world with people that care?
That’s where it’s really at.
The true joy in life
February 18, 2026
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no “brief candle” for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
George Bernard Shaw
The lucky ones
February 2, 2026
We all have rules whether we know them or not.
We have rules for what has to happen for us to feel successful, to have fun or to feel appreciated.
A good way of finding your rules is to ask yourself: “What has to happen in order for me to feel ____”
And put any desired state in there…
To feel appreciated, for instance you might have to be told you’re awesome, or you might need people to see the work you’ve done and know how long it took you. Or you might be one of the lucky ones who just need to look at themselves in the mirror and smile to feel appreciated.
I say ‘lucky ones’… but the truth is, we’re in charge of our rules.
There’s nothing that says you can’t feel successful every time you take 5 minutes to be grateful.
There’s no rule that says you can’t feel deeply valued every time you show someone else they are deeply valued.
We’re the bosses, y’all. We get to choose the rules.
And while we’re at it, we might as well set ourselves and others up to win.
Just today
January 14, 2026
Do people in your family groan at your dietary preferences?
Are you the pesky vegetarian or- god forbid- you’re zero sugar?
I’ve noticed people can be quite reactive to things like “I’m not eating meat” or “I’m actually zero sugar”
I’m not exactly sure why, but it wasn’t until someone said the trusty old “oh it’s always something with you” that I decided to adjust my communication.
Always vs. right now.
Things like “I’m only eating x” or “I don’t eat y” seem to invite those unsolicited comments from uncle Joe. I suppose because it’s a line in the sand. So instead, I’ve been framing my wider lifestyle choices as something I’m choosing in the moment. For some reason people don’t mind as much if you’re not eating sugar just ‘this time’.
I also like this frame because it allows me to choose each time. Who knows maybe I do want a piece of steak today! Thanks for asking.
We don’t need to make identity statements at the dinner table.
But we can choose who we are through how we respond.
You always have a choice.
January 12, 2026
In a bad mood? You have a choice.
Feeling overwhelmed? You have a choice.
Feeling bored? You have a choice.
I like to remind myself that I always have a choice. Things may indeed be really difficult. When I have a few too many things to do I can buy into the hype of overwhelm and “stress as a status symbol”… but that’s all it is; hype.
And hype is rarely worth buying into.
You can have a lot of things to do AND still be fun to be around.
You always have a choice
You’re on a spaceship
January 7, 2026
Imagine if you were on a spaceship with a group of strangers.
Imagine as well that it was common knowledge that in approximately 60 years the spaceship would crash into an asteroid.
And there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
How do you spend those years? Do the people stay strangers?
If you knew you’d be gone after the asteroid, how would that affect your day to day?
Earth is a bit like a giant spaceship isn’t it?
And our inevitable end is an awful lot like an asteroid.
With stakes like this, it’s not just about using our time wisely, it’s about using it lovingly.
Wouldn’t you agree?
There are little hidden pockets of time and space all around us
January 4, 2026
I went past a petrol station and it was packed with people with wait times through the roof. This morning I visited the same petrol station but I had the place to my self.
Why?
Well it seems obvious, right. The first visit was 9.48am on a Saturday morning.
The second time was 7:02am on a Sunday morning.
The same thing happened at my gym. Monday morning at 6.30 am it’s packed and you’ll be lucky to get a spot at the hip thrust machine.
The same gym (and hip thrust machine) was completely free at 6.30 pm on a Friday.
The hidden space and time I’m talking about is the made up meanings and associations we have about where we should be and when.
Sure this reality is a persistent illusion (as Einstein would say) but it is just an illusion.
They say work has to start at 9am on Monday and that Friday night is for partying and that Saturday mornings are for road trips to start.
But if you can divorce yourself from everyone else’s stories, you get to stop waiting in everyone else’s lines.
Meaning makers
January 3, 2026
We are the ones who get to decide what things mean to us.
Is this the beginning or the end?
Is life a war or a test?
Yes, yes this is all great in theory… but this morning I spilt a third of my pristine smoothie and had an unsatisfying amount left.
The knee jerk meaning was that “this sucks, life sucks and I’m sad now.”
But then I realised that your highest behavioral aspirations only have real meaning when the going gets tough.
Sad smoothie? Yup that’s tough going.
So I decided to change the meaning. I looked down at the spilt smoothie and smiled…
“Yay, I get to have more breakfast!” I made a bowl of weetbix- something I don’t normally do- and enjoyed a Petit Déjeuner instead of being mad at my one third empty smoothie.
Oh wait, no- it was a two thirds full smoothie 😉
