Happy new year 🙂
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when it comes to reflecting on the year that’s past.
You want to do justice to what’s been, gather the lessons and plan ahead to the new year.
It’s a big task- so sometimes simple is best. Here are two simple questions that have helped me when doing a massive review is a bit much.
1)What were my favourite times of this past year?
List all the times you were having fun, or felt at your best. Write lots down, both broad snapshots in life and specific moments, get it all down.
2)What are the commonalities?
What are the few things that these experiences had in common?
I.e Being in a new location, working fast and hard on a project, being around people you love and trust… etc
You’ve simultaneously looked at what you loved from the past year and are building an awesome year ahead.
Happy new year 🙂
So. Can. You.
If they can you can.
We’d do well to remember that if someone else has gotten a result, that means we can do that too.
There may well be exceptions to this rule, but why focus on the exceptions?
If there’s a belief that serves you, you might as well believe it.
“Yeah but that person is really tall”
Or
“Yeah but they’ve got years on me.”
Or
“Yeah but I live in the wrong place”
Sure, if you look you’ll find the exceptions to any rule. And the exceptions are also handy to let us off the hook.
It’s much risker to choose to believe that if they can you can.
Don’t let yourself off the hook. What do you want? Has someone else done it?
Great.
So. Can. You.
Print it out
In a world of screens and never ending interfaces we are faced with an infinity of blank pages if we need it.
Your writing is at the top of the google doc, and below it is a sea of white pages deeper than that trench who’s name I can’t spell (Marinara? Mayo-nana? Sriracha?)
The ‘never ending blank’ offers us endless new beginnings which is awesome.
And it also offers us… endless new beginnings which is awful.
I feel I’ve just hacked the system. To edit a short video script to day, I did away with my computer entirely. I printed the draft out.
Printed.
Yes on real life paper I can write on with a pen or pencil and that the beetroot from my lunch can stain- yeah that kind of paper.
It was glorious. Suddenly I was an artist again. A worker. My thoughts had real weight in the world. My scribbled notes reflected the messy and quick thoughts in my head.
There comes a point where we need to get out of the interface of a screen and just hold the blimmin’ thing in our hands.
When in doubt, print it out.
What you trained for
The only time you would actually use martial arts is a situation you don’t really want to think about.
You’d hope you never actually have to fight someone- yet you still train.
Sure, there is learning to be had in the pursuit, but when it comes down to it, the purpose of it is to fight.
I think it’s similar for self development.
It’s easy and enjoyable to learn about it and apply the theory in hypothetical situations…
But it only matters when things get hard.
When the going gets tough, that’s your real chance to use it.
It might feel uncomfortable and not as fun as the other stuff- but this is exactly what you trained for.
If it’s hard right now, that’s good. This is what you trained for.
Use it.
The right form
To kick a rugby ball you need the right form.
You approach the ball at the correct angle. You run up on the correct leg. Your breathing is a certain way. Your foot meets the ball at a precise point and follows through as the ball glides up.
Kicking the ball, holding the golf club or making the high jump requires your body to be in the right form.
This isn’t magic; it’s form.
And form isn’t limited to sports.
Take a second to imagine these…
What is the ‘form’ of an excellent writer?
A fast reader?
Or a highly engaging speaker?
What does an effective teacher look like?
What is the form of an efficient artist?
What does an entertaining host look like?
You may be able to conjure these pictures in your head. (If you can’t, now’s a great time to find some models.)
If we can imagine their form, we can adopt it.
If we can adopt it, we can get similar results.
Overnight failure
Success doesn’t happen over night.
Luckily, neither does failure.
We’re so encouraged to ‘not miss a day’ or keep the chain unbroken
The danger with this is if we do miss a day, we may throw the baby out with the bath water.
One ‘off’ day doesn’t mean it’s all over. Neither does a few in a row.
In fact, you could have a year of ‘off’ days and then make a new choice at any moment.
How good.
Success or failure is just a series of choices. The more you make in one direction the more you get.
Don’t let a few bad choices spoil the bunch.
Missed a day? That’s fine, you still have tomorrow.
(and the next day)
See it to see it
Visions work the same as film scripts.
To see it… you have to SEE it.
In order to realise the production of a feature film, the screenwriter has to build the script page by page. Each word adding to the tapestry. The script is a written vision.
“Here, this is what it will look like.”
Years before the projector shines the the magical lights of a movie on the silver screen, the movie existed only in someones head.
And it was just as vivid as you’re seeing at the cinema.
Before anything exists it first has to be a crystal clear vision.
To see it in real life, you have to see it in your head first.
Don’t skimp on the script. See it first, so we can too.
The missing piece of cake
They say that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.
I think the same is true for things we know.
Something that is a piece of cake for you might be the missing piece for someone else.
One person’s breakfast is another person’s breakthrough (Trying to coin a phrase, is it any good?)
We’re often too close to our own abilities, skills, stories, distinctions and remarkable results to see the potential value they can provide to someone.
So don’t be stingy with the magic you make, it’s your responsibility to share it.
Do and be
Here’s a frame to set abstract outcomes succesfully.
An abstract outcome is what I call something that doesn’t necessarily have a finite beginning or ending. Want to enjoy a day with the family? Have a restful day? Feel like a cool uncle?
These are all abstract and so they require a frame that pulls them from the abstract into something you can action while not necessarily being able to measure or quantify them
- What do you want to do?
Stealing from the actors’ methodology of objective and action, have a think about what it is you want to do.
-I want to make my mum feel special.
-I want to make my niece feel heard.
-I want my friend to feel inspired.
These could qualify as objectives for an actor to play in a scene. And if they’re good enough for an actor they are good enough for you! They say a good objective for an actor should have it’s test in the other person. Said another way, is your objective set up in such a way that allows you to, at any moment, use your senses to ascertain how successful you are in your pursuit? This is what keeps actors active and it can do the same for you too.
- Who do you want to be?
This one is less useful for actors, but super useful to you. The strongest force in human psychology is to remain consistent with our identity. So choose the identity you will live into. I will be a loving son. I will be a strong partner. I will be a playful prince. What ever is is for you! When we are intentional about who we are being when we show up, we are far more likely to act in congruence with it when we pursue our outcome.
So using the frame we put the two together.
“I will make my mum feel heard and be a loving son.”
Or
“I will light my students up and be a master of ceremonies”
-What you want to do?
-Who you want to be?
When the outcome isn’t clear cut, see if this fit instead.
The worst and the favourite
Here’s a game, make your least favourite thing the favourite thing.
What is something you’ve been avoiding? What is a task or activity that either completely bores you or you may even dread?
Would you be interested in changing that? Okay, here are some questions for you…
-What would you have to do to that experience to make it your favourtie thing?
-How would you have to picture it?
-What would you change about the way you approach it?
-What would you have to believe about what it’s giving you?
-In what ways could it be fun?
-What about it actually benefits you?
-How could you make the worst part of it actually the most interesting or fun part?
Most people don’t want to do what it takes to get where they want to go. Life get’s pretty interesting if we can make the undesirable and necessary things unbelievably easy and fun for ourselves.
I’d say that’s an advantage worth working for, wouldn’t you?