Take the bow
I used to find bowing at the end of a show kind of weird… it’s like this old fashioned custom that only exists in a few strange contexts.
It wasn’t until an older actor explained it to me that I got it. He said that the bow is an act of generosity.
What? Me bowing for people to clap is generous?
Yes.
This is their chance to thank you for the performance you’ve just given.
It’s like if you gave someone a gift and didn’t give them an opportunity to say thank you- kind of a stink thing to do, right?
You can’t short change the audience. You can’t quickly bow and rush off.
You have to take you bow. It’s not for you; it’s for them.
Are there other areas in your life where you aren’t taking the bow?
The two show day meditation
We’re doing a matinee and an evening show today and I’m reminded of a lesson I learned from the school of doing the same show for 9 years…
The only show that matters is the one you’re in now.
At the beginning of the matinee today I caught myself imagining the next show.
It’s the theatrical equivalent of trying to eat the entire elephant (and then another later on)
You simple can’t think of the next show; it’ll happen without you needing to.
Stay in what you’re in, then be in what you will be in.
The goal and the prize (they’re different)
It’s not what you get it’s who you become.
It’s nearing the end of March which means we’re a good chunk through the year now. That also means it’s a good time to re-look at those goals you set over new years.
Goals can get us trapped in the idea that we have to ‘get’ a ‘thing’.
Get a deadline, a certain amount of money or some status symbol…
What I’m being reminded of this time around is that the ‘thing’ you get in pursuit isn’t even the real prize.
What really matters is who you become.
You don’t really want to win the Oscar- you want to become the type of actor who could win the Oscar.
You don’t want to run the marathon, but become the person that can.
The accolade or the toy isn’t the thing, but who you become is.
Set the goal, sure. But know the real prize.
No prizes for stubborness
Do you follow rules that no longer matter?
Last year I set a goal for myself to act every day- and the way I did that was by daily making a little video and posting it.
And I did it. Yay!
But the interesting thing was, somewhere along the way I disconnected from the actual outcome.
I set myself the ‘rule’ that I had to post something every day. And so I stuck to that rule religiously.
But in so doing, I lost sight of what I really wanted to be doing: creating something of value that I loved and that other people could love to.
So instead of noticing that and shifting my approach, I stuck to the rule.
So I’m very mindful now of getting rid of that which no longer serves me.
Am I following this rule because I’m too stubborn to change?
Or is it still taking me where I want to go?
Don’t continue to do something just because you said you would…
Each day you learn more and get closer to knowing what it actually is that you want.
And your previous decisions and commitments may not serve the updated picture.
Don’t be stubborn. Be flexible.
Little Tweaks
Sometimes we need a giant change…
And sometimes we need a little tweak.
(More often that not it’s the little tweak)
Before the giant change…
Make a few little tweaks.
And then some more little tweaks.
You’ll probably be fine with just those.
And you’ll probably experience giant change
From the little tweaks.
Choosing, not waiting
What if freedom wasn’t a thing you had to work toward one day having, but it was a choice?
I suppose the first step is deciding what freedom means to you. For me, I defined freedom as not having all my time taken by checking emails or messages.
So instead of waiting till that magical day when somehow I’d outsourced my emails and messages… I just decided to check them less.
I created a structure around when I would check these things. I check social media on a Wednesday and I check email twice a day.
Instead of hours dripping away minute by minute across the days because I was repeatedly and constantly checking these things, I was spending concentrated time blocks on them.
Now I have that ‘freedom’ I was after, and I didn’t have to wait.
What if you didn’t have to wait, but just had to choose?
The working out is in the doing.
One of my favourite flavours of procrastination is planning. There’s an action I know I need to take and when I finally get a moment to take the action, I spend the whole time planning.
Now, this isn’t always a bad thing. The whole “spend time sharpening the axe” thing is true and valid.
But if you find yourself never cutting any trees down you might have yourself a problem.
If we get trapped in the planning phase and find ourselves stuck “working things out” it’s probably time to just jump in and do it.
Just imagine yourself at a gym. You don’t have to work anything out to work out.
The working out is in the doing.
It’s time to stop planning, I think.
Where does this lead?
An uncomfortable question to ask yourself: Where does this lead?
It’s pretty pointy. And it can elicit some pretty uncomfortable truths. We can ask this question in all aspects of our lives and get some useful feedback.
Maybe you find yourself flying by the seat of your pants at work, never really putting in the preemptive work to be really great at what you do. You find you can ‘get by’ pretty well this way, no one notices and your work is ‘good enough’.
Where does this lead?
We can fall into the trap of thinking that ‘one day’ we’ll do better, but really what’s better than deferring to ‘one day’ is focussing on ‘day one’- and that brings us right to today.
Asking “where does this lead” forces us to face what is all to easy to ignore.
The next question of course is, where do I want to go? and what if this was ‘day one’ on the journey there?
Now we’re getting somewhere.
How you do anything is how you do everything
If you just throw your clothes on the floor or leave your dishes in the sink that extra night, what is that communicating to yourself?
It’s saying “this doesn’t really matter.”
And in some ways maybe it doesn’t matter. A little mess here, forgetting about something there…
But what happens when we want to do an outstanding job at something?
We can’t just ‘turn on’ our best work. If you are mostly throwing things aside and forgetting about the details, do you really think you’re suddenly going to be impeccable?
If you want to be outstanding, you have to be outstanding.
How do you do your dishes to your best standard? What is it like to take world class care of your things?
If you want to be outstanding, you have to be outstanding.
Time tax
There’s a little secret your calendar is telling you.
It’s called ‘time plus tax’… and it’s not named after ‘taxing’ tasks. It’s the secret extra time we don’t account for.
Maybe it’s just me, but I am REALLY good at under-estimating the time a task will take. Today I had a website update to make and I allocated one hour for the job.
It took two hours
And this isn’t the exception. I look at most tasks and it takes 1.5 – 2x as long as expected.
So I’m adding tax. It makes me feel way less productive at the start of the day (”Oh no, I’ve only got time for a few things”)
But I feel like a boss-eagle-lord at the end of the day.
Add tax to your calendar and see how much more realistically productive you feel.