Someone once told me a great analogy for trust. To begin with, we have a large empty glass jar. That is a LOT of potential! This jar presents itself when we enter into any relationship personal or professional:
Our partner
Our children
Our colleagues
Our employees
Our students
Our friends
In the beginning these are all empty jars. Our job is to fill that jar; with what you ask? Well, trust being something that is earned over time, we need to fill it with trustworthy actions consistently.
In the analogy these actions are represented by marbles in the jar. But you can only put in one marble at a time.
Every interaction is a marble in the jar. Every look, every response to their vulnerability, every acceptance and extension on their ideas, every time they need you, every time they need kindness and understanding. We have an opportunity to put a marble in the jar.
Marbles that say:
I’m here
You can count on me
I won’t shame you
I think the best of you
You put enough marbles in the jar that say these kinds of things and the person has certainty of what to expect from you. That’s trust.
There’s no short cut (thank god); just time and small consistent acts of love.
You can trust me. You can trust me. You can trust me.
When you earn trust in this way, you deserve the most overflowing and beautiful jar of marbles.