JUSTIN ROGERS

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Connecting with others

Only one energy can win

October 1, 2025

At drama school we played a game that’s always stuck with me. We had been learning how a cast of actors can create a palpable feeling or energy in a room with their collective focus.

(Don’t you just love how ‘drama school’ that sounds!?)

Collectively we might direct our energy to the feeling of anticipation… or dread… or grief… or bliss.

You get the idea.

It was one of those- ‘is this really real or is this in our head’ moments.

But as we did the exercise, sure enough the chosen feeling flooded the room, to the extent even that if someone came into the room, they’d be able to sense the mood pretty easily.

Once we had done a few rounds of creating these moods in the room, our teacher split us up and allocated each group a different and apposing mood to evoke. I was in the group whose mood was ‘serenity’ and the other group had been assigned ‘chaos’.

‘Lol’, right?

So we, the serenity group, started off in the studio while the chaos group began out in the hallway. We were each to generate our mood and then the chaos group would come and join us… and we would see what happened.

I think you can imagine what happened. All our efforts to maintain, grow or share our serenity were bulldozed by the chaotic energy that had just entered.

Only one energy could win. Two couldn’t exist at the same time. One overthrew the other.

Now, it’s not to say there are hard and fast rules around what kinds of moods will ‘beat’ others, I don’t think it’s that simple. For instance, if we had persevered a bit with our serenity maybe chaos would have tired out and eventually we would have won.

Knowing that only one energy can win gives us the ability to see if we’re on the ‘winning’ side or not. To shift ourselves to create the equilibrium we desire in a room.

It makes me think of those classroom days when the kids are just completely hectic for what ever reason. I have in the past tried to hold onto my quiet energy and have of course become frustrated.

Instead what I’m experimenting with is shifting myself to something that stands a chance of facing off against their energy. And eventually finding a middle ground we’re both happy with.

But of course, it could all just be in my head 😉

Rhyming with people

September 30, 2025

We can be speaking a different language as someone but both be speaking English.

Our favourite people are those that are either like us or are the way we aspire be to be.

The saying goes: “People tend to like people like themselves”

I like to think of people who get dogs that look like them as well- I find it’s hilarious when that happens and often wonder if it’s because the dog reminds them of themselves…

ANYWAY-

Here’s simple implication of this idea I use all the time.

“Language Reflection”

What are the key words you hear someone use over and over and how can you authentically incorporate them into your speech?

Kids especially have a certain vernacular- I’m definitely NOT encouraging people to awkwardly slip words in that feel uncomfortable or unnatural.

“That’s ‘rad’ man”

But it is figuring out the point of view those words come from; the family of ideas they relate to. It’s not just cut and pasting a word, but reflecting a thought rhythm and rhyming with that language style.

There’s an art to matching someones speech to align more with them.

In the past, I could understand how people feel a bit funny about doing things like this- that it’s a bit tricky or something.

But I’ve come to value helping people achieve their own potential as one of my highest priorities- so if shifting the way I speak removes a barrier and let’s them connect with me in a deeper way, then I’m okay with it.

Find their map of language and reflect it back to help them get where they want to go.

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