Generous Teaching

Children Will Listen

October 14, 2025

What does a musical theatre legend have to do with teaching?

At drama school, we did a production Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods. At first, I found it really hard to get into; but the process of understanding, rehearsing and performing the show gave me a deep life long love for Sondheim.

One of my favourite lyrics comes from a song sung by the Witch:

“Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do children will see and learn”.

I’’ll admit it took me a bit to actually understand what this means. Surely we want kids to listen right? Why do I have to be careful, Witchy?

Listening comes responsibility.

If they are listening, then the Witch is suggesting we have to be careful what we say and do – their little hearts soak it all in.

For me this comes back to a fundamental focus I have to foster belief in those we work with and especially the young souls.

Everything we say and do has implications. We are constantly modeling behavior and beleifs to our students.

When things get difficult or don’t go to plan, kids are learning from us how we respond.

When we get tired or confused or excited- what do we do? How do we act?

The children are listening.

For me it’s not about trying to be perfect- (as the saying goes; perfection isn’t possible, so it’s the lowest standard…)

But rather considering what our actions and words tell our students about themselves and the way the world is.

We don’t want to spend all our energy getting kids to listen, only for them to hear something that disempowers them.

Children will listen- and that’s a privilege we shouldn’t take lightly.

Gifting beliefs

October 12, 2025

What is the greatest gift you can give your students?

Or anyone you lead or love.

Candy, obviously.

No, that’s a joke.

It’s belief. And before you switch off at the over used buzz word- I’m not going to tell you you need to believe in them- just hear me out.

It’s gifting them a belief about themselves or about the world.

I’m not talking about the generic ‘believe in yourself’ type, I’m talking functional beliefs.

Let me give you an example.

I had a friend who gifted me a belief.

She didn’t do it by sitting me down one day and saying “Hey, you should believe this”, but she modeled it- lived it and I saw how her world was different to mine.

And the belief was this: Strangers are nice.

That’s it. I didn’t know it, but I actually believed the opposite. I thought strangers were just that- strange. People I don’t know and so I shouldn’t care about and that I can’t expect anything from.

She gifted me a new belief about the world and so a whole new way of operating. The trickle down of a simple shift like this can’t be overstated- I’m a different guy for this new mind set.

So, the question is- what is a beautiful belief about life, the world or themselves you would want to gift to your students or loved ones?

Model that and give that gift to them each day until it’s part of them.

And give them some candy too.

Residue

October 10, 2025

I had a teacher at my school who had this amazing ability.

Whether he’d been shouted at by a student, had to have an uncomfortable meeting with a parent or just had a hard morning-

The very next person he spoke to was always treated with kindness, levity and warmth.

In acting I’ve heard the term ‘residue’ often used. It’s the idea that people carry over experiences that have immediately happened to them into the next moment.

A director might say to me “Justin, your character has just had an argument with his wife in the next room- I want to see the residue of that in this next scene.”

We never see the argument but we feel the residue. It’s a great story telling tactic, but it can be unhelpful in our day to day life.

This teacher of mine had the remarkable ability to get rid of residue.

He understood that any unpleasantness that happened before had nothing to do with who walked through his door next. He took responsibility of the way he might make some one else feel.

How generous.

The opposite of course is to be short tempered with someone who has had nothing to do with your difficult morning.

Here’s two questions I’m asking myself today:

How can we meet people anew in each moment?

What can being searingly present, warm and open in new interactions give us- and most importantly- those around us?

Newton’s Reframe

October 9, 2025

Ever notice how things we ‘have’ to do are really hard?

Often the types of actions that lead to all the good stuff are the hardest to get ourselves to do.

It reminds me a bit of Newton’s law of every action having an equal and opposite reaction. So for anything really good to come about, the action that caused it has to be equally difficult right?

Well, no.

I think it has to have an opposite action that requires effort, yes. But whether that effort is difficult, bad or excruciatingly hard is up to you.

It’s the difference between ‘having’ to do something and ‘getting’ to do something.

For students, its how we frame things to them. If we can frame the opposite action as fun, interesting or enjoyable, then they can get the benefit without the perceived downside.

For ourselves it’s the same. What is the story we tell ourselves about the actions we ‘need’ to take for the things we want?

We get to be artistic reframers with those we work with and for ourselves. If all the good stuff is on the other side of some effort- we may as well make that effort exquisitely enjoyable.

Words change how we feel

October 8, 2025

“You’re a liar” vs. “you’re wrong” vs. “you’re mistaken”.

All of these could mean the same thing- but they have different levels of emotional intensity.

So when we speak to others we have a choice- and a responsibility- to be intentional about what we say.

We also have a responsibility to choose the words we say to ourselves.

Is this the end or the beginning?

Did you ruin it all or did you find another way not to get there?

Did you make the wrong choice or does everything happen perfectly?

It’s not about toxic positivity, it’s about intelligent naming.

Let’s choose words that help us and others.

Only one energy can win

October 1, 2025

At drama school we played a game that’s always stuck with me. We had been learning how a cast of actors can create a palpable feeling or energy in a room with their collective focus.

(Don’t you just love how ‘drama school’ that sounds!?)

Collectively we might direct our energy to the feeling of anticipation… or dread… or grief… or bliss.

You get the idea.

It was one of those- ‘is this really real or is this in our head’ moments.

But as we did the exercise, sure enough the chosen feeling flooded the room, to the extent even that if someone came into the room, they’d be able to sense the mood pretty easily.

Once we had done a few rounds of creating these moods in the room, our teacher split us up and allocated each group a different and apposing mood to evoke. I was in the group whose mood was ‘serenity’ and the other group had been assigned ‘chaos’.

‘Lol’, right?

So we, the serenity group, started off in the studio while the chaos group began out in the hallway. We were each to generate our mood and then the chaos group would come and join us… and we would see what happened.

I think you can imagine what happened. All our efforts to maintain, grow or share our serenity were bulldozed by the chaotic energy that had just entered.

Only one energy could win. Two couldn’t exist at the same time. One overthrew the other.

Now, it’s not to say there are hard and fast rules around what kinds of moods will ‘beat’ others, I don’t think it’s that simple. For instance, if we had persevered a bit with our serenity maybe chaos would have tired out and eventually we would have won.

Knowing that only one energy can win gives us the ability to see if we’re on the ‘winning’ side or not. To shift ourselves to create the equilibrium we desire in a room.

It makes me think of those classroom days when the kids are just completely hectic for what ever reason. I have in the past tried to hold onto my quiet energy and have of course become frustrated.

Instead what I’m experimenting with is shifting myself to something that stands a chance of facing off against their energy. And eventually finding a middle ground we’re both happy with.

But of course, it could all just be in my head 😉

Rhyming with people

September 30, 2025

We can be speaking a different language as someone but both be speaking English.

Our favourite people are those that are either like us or are the way we aspire be to be.

The saying goes: “People tend to like people like themselves”

I like to think of people who get dogs that look like them as well- I find it’s hilarious when that happens and often wonder if it’s because the dog reminds them of themselves…

ANYWAY-

Here’s simple implication of this idea I use all the time.

“Language Reflection”

What are the key words you hear someone use over and over and how can you authentically incorporate them into your speech?

Kids especially have a certain vernacular- I’m definitely NOT encouraging people to awkwardly slip words in that feel uncomfortable or unnatural.

“That’s ‘rad’ man”

But it is figuring out the point of view those words come from; the family of ideas they relate to. It’s not just cut and pasting a word, but reflecting a thought rhythm and rhyming with that language style.

There’s an art to matching someones speech to align more with them.

In the past, I could understand how people feel a bit funny about doing things like this- that it’s a bit tricky or something.

But I’ve come to value helping people achieve their own potential as one of my highest priorities- so if shifting the way I speak removes a barrier and let’s them connect with me in a deeper way, then I’m okay with it.

Find their map of language and reflect it back to help them get where they want to go.

Greatest hits of the generative classroom

September 28, 2025

“What’s funny about this?” The greatest hits of a generative classroom.

The questions we consistently ask ourselves direct our focus.

If we know that to be true – do we really have an excuse to not consciously direct the atmosphere of the environments we lead?

When I’m feeling the least creative, the least generous and the least accommodating of others, the questions in my head all rhyme with each other:

Why is this so hard?

How much longer?

Will they ever get this?

Why am I so bad at this?

You can pretty much guess the limited types of answers these get.

A new question is: “What is the environment I want to create and what are the recurring questions I can ask of myself that will create it?”

Here’s the greatest hits:

“How many smiles can I give? … Or get?!”

“What’s funny or surprising about this?”

“How many ‘a ha’ moments will I create?”

“What will I learn?”

“What breakthroughs will we create together?”

These all presuppose the presence of newness, of joy and learning. They open the door to possibility.

How many generative questions will you create today?

Giving an ‘A’

September 25, 2025

What if you give an ‘A’ grade before someone ‘deserves’ it?

Benjamin Zander has a concept in his amazing book, The Art of Possibility called “giving an A”.

It’s named after the a grade he gives his students at the beginning of the semester BEFORE they have turned in any work.

He stands before the class at the start of the term and congratulates them all on their A grade. He asks them to write a letter to him, as if from the future, explaining all the reasons they deserved the A grade they had received.

I absolutely love this idea.

Ben encourages us to ‘give an A’ to people in all aspects of our life. Someone cut you off in traffic? The barista is rude to you? Your boss is short with you?

What would giving an A to these people look like?

It’s making the most generous assumption of them. It’s not asking “Why do they hate me!?”

But asking a much more generous question like “I wonder what difficulty they’re facing right now?”

A couple of things might happen.

Number 1, you stop the loop of negativity because you have a generous belief about them. They may well be snapped out of the pattern they’re in. Of course this isn’t guaranteed, but it opens the possibility for them to live into the best version of themselves.

Number 2 (and this one is pretty certain) you will feel much better about the interaction if you’ve given the person an ‘A’. If you generously assume that something awful and truly difficult must be going on for them to be like this, you have a lot more peace in your day. You may even get some of the lovely side effects of a ‘metta’ type meditation- loving kindness.

There’s zero downside to giving an A and infinite upside.

It’s my favourite thing.

Understanding the values of those you seek to change

September 23, 2025

It seems so obvious, doesn’t it? To associate a desired outcome with something that is highly important to us.

For instance, if we want to exercise regularly we’d do well to link that in our mind to what’s most important to us. Maybe, to be around for our grand kids and show them the family traditions. Exercise = Family connections.

Fundamentally, I guess, people value pleasurable experiences. And as long as those don’t harm us, these kinds of valuable experiences are great fuel for change and growth.

I know that if I make a kid laugh, I’m much more likely to affect change for them. They begin to associate the good feeling with the learning I deliver.

Link the desired growth (learning) to the value (feeling good).

The loop becomes this: elicit pleasurable experience, hook it to the learning. Elicit the experience, hook the learning. And so on and so fourth.

It’s not about silly fluff for a laughs sake, but it’s about creating deeply valuable and richly pleasurable learning experiences for our kids.

When kids link ultimate pleasure to learning and growth, then we’ve done our job.

JUSTIN ROGERS

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