Recently I’ve noticed a pattern emerge in how I respond when people say “How are you?”
I mightn’t have noticed it if I only saw one or two people, but it happened five times so it really stuck out to me.
“Tired, but really glad to have some down time”
“Really busy, I just feel very behind”
“Yeah, it’s been a big few weeks”
Look, I’m an advocate for connecting to our true emotions and taking the bad with the good… but I’m also smart and I can see when patterns aren’t serving me.
The problem with the above responses is how I’m framing my experience for someone else. It’s a good litmus test because when someone asks how are you, you have to dilute it down to make it understandable in a sentence or two.
I also think these kinds of ‘it’s been hard but I’m surviving’ responses are so socially acceptable- people often nod and say things like ‘yeah, me too’.
It seems less safe, perhaps to say “I’m absolutely awesome!”
As if theres a fear that it’s weird to feel good or something.
My challenge to myself (and anyone else interested) is to choose carefully the story we tell others when they ask how we are.
Because it’s the same story we tell ourselves. And if we tell it enough times we start to believe it.
