We all want to be right.
This is what most arguments are really about. And for me I’m much more likely to fall into this trap with people close to me.
Rarely am I going to argue with a stranger- I’m okay with them being ‘right’ because it affects my life less I guess.
I look back on moments where I so badly wanted to be right- those arguments really didn’t serve me. Even when I do end up being right, who even cares?
For me, it’s the wrong orientation. When it comes to being with others, it’s care and curiosity that wins.
One definition I have for intelligence is being flexible with your beliefs.
Have you ever looked back on videos of yourself, or old emails and texts where you are whole heartedly defending something that makes you cringe now?
In retrospect we look back; “Well, of course I was wrong about that!”
But of course when we were in it, it was a firmly held belief.
The orientation of wanting to be right mightn’t age well.
Remaining kind and curious always does.
This opens the possibility for learning and (even better) opens us to the word view of another and connects us.
It isn’t about being flakey in your beliefs or being a push over.
But it’s about keeping agile and flexible. Curious, kind and connected.
That’s far better than being merely ‘right’.
