Failure into feedback
Sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t.
That is so great.
The trick is to be able to stay curious and cheerful for both. And this can be trained.
What is the feedback we give ourselves and others when things don’t work? When you misplace and finger and don’t get that new jazz chord right on the guitar do you grunt in frustration? Or do you smile to yourself and try again?
I’m willing to bet it’s the grunt. It seems natural to have a frustrated response when something doesn’t work the way we planned. But each time we do that, we condition ourselves like Pavlov’s dog to associate negative feelings with trying and failing.
The key to growth is the exact opposite. How can we associate feelings of excitement, fun, curiosity and a hunger for more to those moments of “failure”.
One step is to stop calling it failure. Call it feedback. We always get ‘an’ outcome, it may not be ‘the’ outcome but you will always get some feedback.
This isn’t just positive thinking, this is practical to your growth and crucially to the growth of those you lead.
I love Benjamin Zander’s exclamation when things don’t go as planned (he teaches all his music students to say this when things go wrong):
“How fascinating!”
Let’s train ourselves to celebrate the micro failures and lean in more, it’s win win really