I had a teacher at my school who had this amazing ability.
Whether he’d been shouted at by a student, had to have an uncomfortable meeting with a parent or just had a hard morning-
The very next person he spoke to was always treated with kindness, levity and warmth.
In acting I’ve heard the term ‘residue’ often used. It’s the idea that people carry over experiences that have immediately happened to them into the next moment.
A director might say to me “Justin, your character has just had an argument with his wife in the next room- I want to see the residue of that in this next scene.”
We never see the argument but we feel the residue. It’s a great story telling tactic, but it can be unhelpful in our day to day life.
This teacher of mine had the remarkable ability to get rid of residue.
He understood that any unpleasantness that happened before had nothing to do with who walked through his door next. He took responsibility of the way he might make some one else feel.
How generous.
The opposite of course is to be short tempered with someone who has had nothing to do with your difficult morning.
Here’s two questions I’m asking myself today:
How can we meet people anew in each moment?
What can being searingly present, warm and open in new interactions give us- and most importantly- those around us?